Why do I write my blog?
I really struggle with writing because of having dyslexia, constant brain fog, extreme fatigue. Also, it doesn’t bring me that much pleasure, so it may seem odd to have paid for domain and a beautifully designed blog especially when I don’t publish many posts. However, having M.E. has made me often feel like I have lost my value or my voice. The restrictions of my condition means that expressing my thoughts is often not possible and I find this difficult to cope with. My blog allows me a safe space to be able to feel a bit more part of life. Creating a blog is a way of being able to share my experiences with others, to provide information for those who do not understand the illness, and possibly help others that also have M.E.
How did my blog develope?
The first few years I just made do with a free domain and a bog-standard template. This did not give me much inspiration to express myself, and although I knew that my posting would be very sporadic, I wanted a proper website to make my mark in the world. Myalgic Encephalomyelitis/Chronic fatigue syndrome (ME/CFS) is classed as an invisible illness because its symptoms aren’t always apparent to the naked eye. Sadly being housebound can make one feel physically invisible too, and having a piece of the internet that is mine, even if I don’t use it much, has helped me feel a little less invisible.
Leonie Creates
This blog is in no way about work or having a brand. I didn’t have a particular focus in mind when I started it. I wanted it to evolve naturally and write about the topics I felt I wanted to write about at the time. The whole point was to give me space in the world and I didn’t want to restrict that. However I realised quickly after writing a few posts, that really, the type of content I was creating was just about my life and lifestyle. It is just a small reflection of my own thoughts, feelings and experiences of the world. It is no way supposed to be an aspirational or educational blog because everyone’s experiences are different. At the end of the day it is just a place for me to not be so invisible and express myself about things I do, my opinions on culture and my health experiences, when I feel well enough.
How do I write notes?
I have probably written hundreds of blog posts in my head, most of them will never appear as I do not have the energy to create them. Sometimes though they make it out of my swirling vortex in my mind and they tend to come out in different ways. Sometimes I speak straight into my devices, whether that be a tablet, phone or laptop, that converts my voice to text. Most modern devices and software do this very efficiently. I do also occasionally jot down a few notes in whatever notepad I have to hand. These notes are usually a stream of consciousness or sometimes as bullet points, or as poems. The finished article is always me speaking into my laptop and then doing edits by hand a.k.a typing! I find this is the quickest and easiest way to make my thoughts and ramblings that I have recorded or written down and put them into some sort of readable hopefully enjoyable format.
How To Start A Blog: Step By Step For Beginners | Meg Says
My thoughts after writing this post
I nearly did not publish this blog because it felt so insignificant. However, now I know to not to press publish, would be to validate those feelings of invisibility and I do not believe anyone with a chronic illness is invisible and that should include me. I feel insecure about every blog I publish. I worry it is not good enough or I have made a mistake or even revealed too much about myself. At the end of the day though it is first and foremost a space for me, then a space for others with M.E. or chronic illnesses and other people. The only opinions that matter are my own and every time I press publish I am proud of myself for achieving something, and that is the most important thing.
